Missing You

Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you. Maybe that is why it doesn’t seem possible that a year has gone by since I got the phone call. A nurse told me that you had only moments left. I grabbed my keys and was out the door, but you were gone by the time it took me to drive the five minutes to hospice. I ran into the room only to see the empty husk that used to house all the beauty that was you. The nurse standing at the foot of the bed told me you had passed only moments before. Your struggle of the previous six months was finally over. I know you weren’t alone in the final seconds, but I still feel occasional guilt that it wasn’t me with you. I know that isn’t logical, but there it is anyway.

Thanks to family and friends I’ve kept busy this past year. Because of them I have not let my life come to a standstill now that you are no longer physically here with me. I have laughed and experienced new adventures even though a year ago I didn’t think that would ever be possible. Throughout it all you are here in my thoughts sharing along with me. When I act silly, or cross that line of decorum as I am wont to do, I know you are there be beside me shaking your head.

I miss you. I miss your laugh. I miss hearing about how your day went. I miss holding your hand as we walk down the street. I miss laying in bed at night and hearing you breath. I miss... this list could be endless. But enough with the sadness already. I have too many happy memories to let this day rule over all the others.

You were not my first love, but you are my best love. I cherish that above all else.

 

 

What did you think of this article?




Trackbacks
  • No trackbacks exist for this entry.
Comments

  • 25 Jan 2010 JonInAtl wrote:
    You have a talent for putting thoughts into words that most lack. You're right, he's always there.
    Hugs my friend.
    Reply to this
  • 25 Jan 2010 Keith wrote:
    Sorry for your loss.
    Reply to this
  • 25 Jan 2010 Alexander wrote:
    A very sweet, heartfelt post. I had to wipe away a tear, as I too have been in your shoes.
    Reply to this
  • 25 Jan 2010 Dan wrote:
    so sweet! all my hugs and mwahs! xxx
    Reply to this
  • 25 Jan 2010 RJ wrote:
    Jeffery, I am so sorry for your loss. Your words always strike something in me that I try desperately to hide most often. This post, as well as many others you've written, has brought a tear or two to me. Your writing is simple, yet emotionally powerful, tugging at the heartstrings and entering into the souls of those who read. You're a wonderful friend and am so sorry Doug was taken away from you so quickly. *hugs*
    Reply to this
  • 26 Jan 2010 Erik Rubright wrote:
    I've read this 4 times now, and I still am at a loss of what to say. But I do offer the one thing I know: *hugs*
    Reply to this
  • 26 Jan 2010 Dyl wrote:
    I feel angry that you were denied this man.
    I feel joy that you had him in your life and that you were GOOD together. I smile when I think of the memories you must have.
    Word hugs now, real ones soon. x
    Reply to this
Leave a comment

 Enter the above security code (required)

 Name

 Email (will not be published)

 Website

Your comment is 0 characters limited to 3000 characters.